Do you ever feel like you're drowning?
There is no one to help you?
Yeah I have... It seems to be happening more often than not these days...
The best way to describe it is I'm all alone in a tar pit and its slowly pulling me under.
I wont cry though, I will just grit my teeth and try to smile. I have never really been one to talk about my feelings. I'm just not comfortable with letting anyone in that close. I don't want to hurt anymore. I was hurt at a pretty young age by both of my parents when they got divorced. Me and my younger sister were used as pawns in the divorce. Ever since then I have been EXTREMELY careful of who I let in and since the divorce I haven't let anyone in. I'm too afraid.
I feel like I'm not good enough for anyone. Everything I do is either wrong of not good enough. I'm getting to the point where I just feel like I'm a HUGE disappointment to everyone in my life.
The evil tar feeling though of running a blade across my skin has crept back into my head a few times but I push it back. What am I to do? With no one to trust...I feel like I'm falling apart and every time I try to pick up the pieces I drop another piece, forever in an endless circle. I feel like I need to cry and just let it all out but crying makes me feel weak and I don't know how to handle that emotion.